Tuesday, November 20, 2018

8 years of waiting

Assalamualaikum semuaaaaaaaaa.....

i think... i think la.. this will be a long post.. so.. get ready guys...pembebelan non stop akan bermula... gi la amik pape yg patut untuk dikunyah... and if you think I'm making you bored, sile bawa cursor anda ke top right, click the 'X'.. simple steps to minimize the risk of mata juling.. ehehehe

ok... so it all started when I got married with my then boyfriend on feb 2010. Of course we want kids right away. no planning whatsoever. just go with the flow. maka.. after 7 months kawen, still takde pape I decided to go have myself checked at klinik biase. So the doc advised buat pap smear to check if ade something wrong with my cervix ke ape. Alhamdulillah.. all clear.. no problemo la kirenye kan..

Going home, perasaan tenang skit.. so, keep on trying for the next 1 and a half year. Still takde pape. within that 1 and half year tu, orang kata pegi urut kat makcik tu, makcik ni, memang pegi je without hesitation. Suruh makan macam2 bende.. serbuk kurma la, buah zuriat la, jamu la, ehh.. macam2 la.. pening rasa mane satu nak ikut. Takde la I main follow je ape orang cakap kan. Tengok la jugak mana logic and mane tak. Mak mertua bawak gi berubat ngan ade sorang pakcik kt Slim River. Di suruhnye minum air kelapa and ragi ke ape tah namenye tu. minum je la kan.. seb baik air kelapa sedap. Tp without izin Allah, buat la ape pon, takkan jadi punya.

After that, I decided to go to Dr Hamid Arshad. This is around 2013 kalu tak silap. Sanggup tunggu turn tah pukul brape tah baru dpt jumpe die. Yang I ingat me and hubs sampai klinik die kul 8 pagi. And masa sampai tu, dah ramai rupenye hakak2 pregnant yg dah sesiap amik nombor... tah pukul brape la derg sampai. Dr Hamid, a very well known fertility doc. Die check, nothing yang mengganggu as in uterus sume ok.. No fibroid, no polips. Kirenye cantik la keadaannye. Die pn suh makan acid folic and kasi sepotong ayat Quran untuk di amalkan. Trus set next appointment, which is 3 bulan lagi . Ok I am not a very patient punya spesis.

I pon malas nak tunggu lama2. We went to a normal clinic and tell the doctor on my fertility issue. Doc tu pn referkan to his friend, which is a gynae at Columbia Asia Cheras. So, tanpa membuang masa, off we go to the hospital to set appointment. Sebab hospital baru masa tu, cepat je dpt appointment with Dr Shida. Die pn buat la segala scanning and checking and die pn mendiscover yang I ade PCOS (polycystic Ovary Syndrome). A condition where ovum tak matured due to hormon keperempuanan tak mencukupi. So when ovum tak matured, Ovum tu sume tak membesar. They just stayed in my ovary. Even I have my period every month, well ade la period but irregular. Kadang-kadang my cycle 35 days, sometimes 42 days, the longest is 63 days. Masa tu mcm perasan sgt pregnant. On day 62 I buat pregnancy test. Negative.  The next day I period. FEELS LIKE !@#&^%^#&%*&.. At that point of time, I mmg rasa down sangat sangat sangat. I cried and cried and since then, ape ape news pasal people getting pregnant, konfem I nangis. I still remember, in the news btau pasal Blake Lively pregnant, I nangis gile babi.  TAH PAPEEEEEE.. but I just cant help it. serius down. So, I pn stop segala treatment. Malas nak tertunggu2 lagi every month. I just remind myself, only Allah knows when we are truly ready and Allah takkan uji more than we can handle.

So idle phase ni berlaku sampai la end of 2016 when we decided, we need to get help and lets be serious about this. We cannot putus asa. We should terima what lies upon us. Stay positive. Keep on trying tak kisah la whatever it takes. Wahhh.. matured tak keputusan cmtu kan? Rase cam matured sangat time tu.. hahahahahahahahhaa.

So my aunt suggest to go to HUKM and get treatment with Prof Zainul. Sebab die pn have the same struggle and she feels that Prof Zainul is very capable. Kitorg pn pergi la register pape yg patut. Go through the same process mcm kt Columbia Asia Cheras dulu. Which is check ovum, check uterus, husband kene buat sperm test, I kene buat fallopian tube scan balik. Oooo.. talking about this fallopian tube scan.  I have a very very very bad experience the first time I did this. I ingat lagi buat scan tu with a doctor at a clinic located at Jalan Raja Laut. The after effect of the scan gile dasyattttt.. I cannot get up for 2 days. Feels like ade tikus tengah dok korek2 my uterus.. sakit gileeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. So when HUKM suh I buat balik, rasa cam thats it. kite stop sampai sini je.. tanak buat dah.. tobat.. eceh... baru tadi feeling matured kan. I story kt aunt I bad experience of my 1st tube scan.. die kate die buat kt KPJ Tawakkal with Dr Fatimah. Takde rase sakit langsung. I'm a bit skeptical. Camne plak aku rase cam nak mampos, die takde rase pape.. So die pn ckp, pegi situ, serius takde rase sakit. I did went for the scan with Dr Fatimah tu. And to my surprise, sumpah takde rase sakit langsung. Trus rasa nak top up sumpah seranah kt doc clinik kt Raja Laut tu.. What de hell are u doing man???

Ok.. sambung balik treatment kt HUKM ni. fallopian tube takde sumbat ke ape.. so the problem now is memang due to the PCOS. PCOS ni takde cure and even docs pn tatau what cause it. But it can be controlled. By leading healthy lifestyle, jaga makan, jangan stress, kirenye lead a happy life la gitu and paling bagus if dpt reduce weight. Sikit reduce pn ok dah. So, cam biase doc akan kasi clomid. To simulate the ovum. Tgk if ade reaction. Alhamdulillah ade... ade la 1 ovum membesar. Doc pn kate try dulu naturally. 3 cycle la kirenye try naturally. Nothing. Takpe, lets ask the docs advise what should we do next. So doc kate bole proceed with IUI. Mase ni I dah start change my lifestyle. Petang2 after work g jog, lantak la keje siap ke tak.. Keje will not habis. Sayangilah diri anda.. gitu tagline masa ni. I joined Slim Fit season 4. The coach and the team is superb. Throughout the program, they taught us how to lead healthy lifestyle. Weight tak important. Important sebab nak win 1st place je mase tu.. hehehehehe.. So at the end of this program, we really know how to control our food intake, cmne nak workout dengan betul, about nutrition in our food and to love ourself as well as spreading the awareness to other people of the importance of taking care of yourself and feel good about yourself. Berjaya turunkan around 5kg rasenye. Memang rasa best sangat2.

So, then we did proceed with IUI. Excited gile masa ni mmg berangan trus pregnant la. But Allah knows best. Takde rezeki. Once dah period tu, doc pn tanya. Nak proceed with IUI lagi skali tak? I cakap No. Tak nak buang masa doing the same thing without knowing if my ovum is really a good ovum and if it can be fertilized naturally without any intervention. So I pn cakap nak proceed with IVF terus and Doc agreed.

Intermission... jeng jeng jengggg

Eh.. next post la ye.. penat plak menaip. Mata I plak nak juling. So before I pn maki diri sendri, I stop sini dulu ye. hahahahahha.. Nanti I sambung on this IVF in my next post.

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..

Signing Off

Friday, June 21, 2013

Pelangi senja


Senja la sangatttt.  Heheheh

Oh. Hi all!!  It's almost the end of june. There goes my 2nd quarter of the year. Not that much progress in life. Title hasn't changed to 'MUMMY'.  Sighhh

Ok.  Jangan sedey2. Rainbow's here to colour your life..  Hehehehehehe.  Enjoysssss

Process of coloring batter


Cupcakes with lemon flavoured buttercream. yummehhhh


Rainbow yang telah di gigit... Hehehehe

Till then.  Bubbye!!

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Burfday cuppies

Dengan sepantas kilatnye terus create the next entry kan. Hahahahahahahahahah.

Earlier before we bake the cake, i'm struggling to finish up my aunt's cupcake order. Its for her dearest sister's birthday. (Kirenye, her sister also my aunt la kan. Saje kasi pening2 skit. Hahahahah). It is supposedly a simple birthday cupcakes but bagi org yg tak brape nak pandai bab2 art like me, it is a nervewrecking-super susah task la kan. But, eventually it turn out to be... ummm how should i describe it..... It turns out not that well but its acceptable la jugak kan. Hhehehehehe. Here's the picture as a proof. Jangan gelak guling-guling okehh. Heheheheh.

Till then. Babaiii



1st entry for 2013

It's March already (end of March pulak tu) baru terhegeh-hegeh nak letak 1 st entry. Hehehehehe.

Nothing much to blab. Just that last week me, my sister and my bubbly, adorable cousin Hasya hang around at my house and we baked RED VELVET CAKE!!!! Ok. Nothing new about the cake. Its a phenomenon here in Malaysia right now. It is the 'it' cake and most of the people are in love with the colour and the taste.

Enjoy the pictures la lagi senang rather than reading my pointless karangan. Hehehehe.



Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Fondant cupcakes

Hi you alls,

Di bawah ni sume fondant cupcakes yg I penah buat ye.. tak banyak pon.. sbb tak terer pon bab2 menguli gula ni... hehehehehe...


yg ni terlupe nak snap individually.. dah siap masuk kotak ikat reben pe sume baru teringat.. hahaha.. bole la tu kannn..


yg fink nih cupcake utk hantaran tunang I ye.. dah lame pny project..



yg lg 2 gambar ni for my sister's e-day last year.. (gambar ni cantik skit la kan.. sbb bukan di snap menggunakan my phone camera...hehehehe.. pictures credit to leprikon pictures: www.leprikon.net)


Recently ade 1 lagi fondant cupcakes project.. cam bese.. pemalas nak amik2 gbr ni.. tunggu je la gbr from fotografer nnt.. hehehehehe..

Emmm... Dah masuk 4th day puase tapi satu hari pon blom penah masak lagi.. adoih la malasnye.. hehehehe... balik keje lambat + ade project kuih muih plak for Hari Raya...Raya cookies I story esok la ye... malas nak cite sbb takde gambar.. hahahahhaa... ade gbr senang skit nak explain kan..

OK lah.. I think that's for now...Tunggu esok plak for Raya Cookies okehh..

Cau cin cauuu!!! Bubbye!!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

The 3rd entry: As promised

Adelah sungguh annoying nak numberkan every entry kan.. hahahaha.. saje :p

OK, yesterday I promised to post about cakes and fondant cupcakes, right? See.. see.. I kept my promise.. hehehehe..So, here you go..

Tak banyak pon lagi gambarnye.. I mean banyak dah buat cakes.. tapi yg 2 ni je la yg sempat snap gambar.. tu pon pakai camera phone... compact camera buat hal plak.. apadeyyyy..


So kengkawan, as per the description in the picture itself, I present you Chocolate cake with Chocolate Ganache. Very chocolatey and moist and fluffy. The cake is covered with dark choc okeyh.. di tabur pula dengan chocolate rice. Triple choc gituhh.




The 2nd cake, Red Velvet cake. Nampak cam haru biru skit (siap kantoi ade lubang kecit kt tepi tu kan.. cream cheese dgn cuaca kt mesia ni.. gituh la gamaknye..hehehe).Orang yang order cake ni nak buat as hantaran. So, it will be covered with fondant la kan. Tu yang frost gitu2 je tu. lgpon cream cheese tu melt cepat gile.. Bawah ni gambar cake tu dah covered with fondant.



cake by: OvenBake
fondant by: Pak Engku (Kuzie Catering)

Macam dah panjang lebar sangat plak entry ni... Fondant cupcakes in next post la ye.. hehehehe

Bubbye!! (for now.. hehehe)

Monday, July 23, 2012

The 2nd entry : again about cupcakes

Hai hai... After 3 months baru ade 2nd entry... apedaaaa...

Ok la... without further ado... below are pictures of my old projects jugak (ade la new projects skit2)and all of them are cupcakes... I'll update about cakes and cupcakes for hantaran on the next post okay... (this time I promise it won't be after 3 months... hehehehe)...
















itu sajelah stakat ni.... why pictures je sume? dats because pictures speaks louder than words... tetibe nak berfalsafah gituh kannn.. hahahhahahaha...

ehhhhh.. dah last paragraph ni baru la teringat tujuan utama..hehehehe.. kalu nak order, dialu-alukan ye... just email me at cthajar11@gmail.com for enquiries ke ape ke ...

last but not least.. salam ramadhan to everyone..

bubbye!!